An Obsessive Compulsive Stalkers Fantasy!

With black converse sneakers, long khaki shorts covering his calves, black plastic frame glasses, an oversized t-shirt and a back-pack on his right shoulder, I couldn't help but notice him. I secretly hoped that his short glance my way was intended to catch my eye.

Twice I saw him at Caribou Coffee mid-afternoon. So today with great expectations I set forth on my conquest for my newest man to obsess over. Afteral I moved from New York and I was certainly not going to run into any New York obsessions in Atlanta.

I had my David Sedaris book with me, just in case there was any question of my sexuality, my journal, to show my sensitivity, and of course my cell phone to portray my importance and stature in society. I was all set to meet someone and I was determined to not break my carb-fast if things did not turn out my way.

My disappointment over his absence inside the store was relieved when I saw his cute profile crouched scribbling on shuffled papers on the patio. I prepared my tea and gracefully walked passed his table.

Our eye's met..

Strike 1.

"Hey, Your like a regular piece of furniture here."

The moment I said furniture I began kicking myself in the head internally. Who wants to be likened to a piece of furniture?

But there was hope. As I extended my hand to shake his he stood half way up from his chair much like a southern gentleman greets a lady.

"Hi Kevin. Yeah, I come here on my work breaks to get away." he said.

Strike 2.

"You work in the area?"

Now this question alone is not the strike out. It is my response to his response that is the strike out!

"Yes, I work in Buckhead."

...and I said.

"Oh!"

... and that was it. I froze completely as he was looking at me expecting further conversation. I sat in my chair stirred my tea and shoved my face in the book, frightened like a puppy during a thunderstorm. Luckily the humorous tales of David Sedaris softened the constant yammering in my head over my inability to carry on a conversation.

It was Chapter 3 when my eyes tired. I shut them and closed the book. Of course still focusing on Derek in my peripheral. Then suddenly a delicate voice pierced the chaos of my minds thoughts...

"I love that book."

Damn, not bad. Two strikes and he is coming back for me. We engaged in friendly conversation for a few minutes and just as I was about to suggest we get together sometime, some tired old queen prances right between our line of vision and plops his overly coiffed ass down. Right there in between us! Opens up a big old newspaper and starts smoking his nasty Marlbaro Ultra Lights.

So this was not my strike out but a strike out nonetheless. A few minutes passed as I deliberately chuckled aloud while reading my book. It is important to show a great sense of humor to a prospective boyfriend. Derek began to pack up his things and my nerves began to tweak from the anticipated departure.

What do I say? How do I ask him for his number? Should I mention that I would like to see him again? Will this damn nosey queen ever tire of watching me?


Strike 3.

"Well Kevin, it was nice meeting you. Have a nice day."

...and I said.

"Same here, enjoy the rest of work."

ENJOY THE REST OF WORK! What is wrong with me. I was so caught up with the evesdropping queen that I lost my cool and neglected to mention anything about seeing him again. Not to mention wish him a nice day. Enjoy the rest of work. Does that mean that I do not want him to enjoy the rest of his day? Am I implying that he should only enjoy his work and not his evening? Ugh!

Well in this case I might have three strikes but I am not out of the game. Now I know that he comes there on his break from work aroung 3:30 every day. I would say that information definitely constitutes a WIN! Not to forget that piece of information also lays the foundation for an obsessive compulsive stalkers fantasy!