Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Just a regular morning with a heightened awareness.

This morning I woke from slumber tangled up the softness of a puffy comforter, pillows tossed about me as if they are strategically protecting and comforting my body. Two silky black felines share the bed; Gracie and Jake anticipate mornings to compete for my attention. First it’s important that I reveal at least one of my feet from beneath the covers. Jake is a toe licker in the morning so I begin to endure his gritty tongue and smile through closed eyes as I can feel the vibration of his loud purr through the mattress springs.


Gracie is a little more aggressive in getting my attention. On this particular morning she sat just beside my neck and stared down into my eyes. I sensed her crouching down closer as her whiskers began to tickle my nose and I could feel her delicate breath caress my cheek. She is usually the morning alarm. The two personalities are very funny. Once Jake gets his fill of me which usually takes about 5 minutes he is off to start his day of slumber and play and pretty much takes care of himself. But Gracie demands my attention most days during every waking hour that I am home. It starts off in bed with a scratch behind the ears and a little pat on the bottom. Then she sits and continues to wait, just watching and waiting me for to hop out of bed and follow her to the kitchen. I made the mistake of feeding her some canned food in the mornings for a short period of time; she still keeps the faith that I will do that again some day. Even though her dish is always full of dry food she still chases me to her dish in the morning and wags her tail and talks to me anticipating, hoping, and maybe even praying for a nibble of that juicy kibble from a can. So every morning I humor her, I walk to the kitchen, I shake her bowl for her, I freshen up her water and then she eats a little. After the foundations of my feline activities are complete I tend to some pressing needs of my own which usually involves exercise. Today I slipped on my sneakers and went for a jog.


I love to jog with music in my ears and I find that with a little theme music along the way I can kick into a higher gear than just jogging in silence. Maybe some day I will enjoy the silence but the distraction and the uplifting sounds keep me focused on my path and inspire me to positive thought along the way.


Today feels like a special day though. Nearly 9 years I had a brain hemorrhage in my left frontal lobe and a stroke in my right frontal lobe. Nearly 17 years ago I completed 3 years of chemotherapy and radiation treatment for leukemia. Today as I feel my feet repetitively grip the ground an enormous sense of gratitude flows through my system. Outside of the obvious part of still being alive and having survived those experiences I felt grateful that after all these years my life finally seems to be taking some form of adult-like shape. I find myself getting more submerged in a healthy train of thought. All those negative voices that used to scorn and taunt me no longer rule my conscious thought. I find myself more often feeling gratitude than depression. I find myself not only accepting my body with all its complications but loving it and nurturing it more often than before. I notice that it has become more of a habit for me to take deep breaths when I am faced with situations that challenge me. In those deep breaths I share a moment with my Higher Power and activate the process of letting go sooner than I have in the past. Today, as I went for my jog, I felt stronger than I have in years. This day is a very powerful day so far as I look back at my history and view my experiences as stepping stones to create this wonderful life I live today.


My life may not be very adventurous, and it may not sound very exciting to most. But nearly 9 years I had a brain hemorrhage in my left frontal lobe and a stroke in my right frontal lobe. Nearly 17 years ago I completed 3 years of chemotherapy and radiation treatment for leukemia. Today it feels good to have an ordinary life. It is good to feel the pressure of the ground absorbed beneath the soles of my feet as I jog around the neighborhood. Catching my breath every few minutes with a fast-paced walk relieves my aching calves and centers my stride for my next interval of jogging; my next journey to experience life with gratitude.


As I capped off my morning ritual with making fresh juice in my Jack LaLane juiceri showering and taking my medications, I realized that my focus and attention on my health requires an uplifting perception of gratitude from where I have come. It's been easy in the past to reflect regretfully but today it feels good to be alive.


This morning I woke with two loving felines by my side vying for my attention; I felt loved and appreciated. I took a jog with two healthy legs and I experienced a great sense of peace. This was a good morning.

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